前台小姐与老外的对话（英语8级者看不懂）

小姐：Hello.
老外：Hi. 　　
小姐：You have what thing? 　　
老外：Can you speak English? 　　
小姐：If I not speak English, I am speaking what? 　　
老外：Can anybody else speak English? 　　
小姐：You yourself look. All people are playing, no people have time. 　　
老外：Anybody here can speak English? 　　
小姐：Shout what shout, quiet a little, you on earth have what thing? 　　
老外：I want to speak to your head. 　　
小姐：Head not zai. You tomorrow come

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花江进士

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发表于 2008-6-16 20:15 | 只看该作者

1：某次英文考试有两道题目：

（1）我穿上外套，却发现第一个扣子掉了。

（2）他听见电话铃响，就过去接了电话。

正确答案应为：

（1）I put on my coat and found its first button was gone.

（2）As soon as he heard the phone ringing, he went to pick it up.

但是某生的答案是：

（1）Shit!

（2）Hello?

2：老师在黑板上写了一句：Time is money. 并让同学们翻译。有名学生答道：“汤姆是玛丽。”

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花江进士

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发表于 2008-6-16 20:16 | 只看该作者

Late one night at the insane asylum (疯人院）one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!"

　　Another one said, "How do you know?"

　　The first inmate said, "God told me!"

　　Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did not!"

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花江进士

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发表于 2008-6-16 20:24 | 只看该作者

A man was at a bar, slowly sipping his beer and looking very gloomy.
"What's the problem?" Asked the bartender. "You look so sad."
"My wife and I had a fight. She told me she wasn't going to talk to me for 30 days."
"That should make you happy!" said the bartender.
"It did," said the man. "But that was 29 days ago. Today is the last day."

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